Is what a friend told me in October about my being single.
Clearly my standards are too high … why? Because I won’t date YOU!?
A little bit of history on my “love” life:
When I was 18 years old, I moved out of my parents house and away to a smaller town where my Dad and Grandma lived. I moved in with my Grandma until I could get settled and find a job, place, etc.
About 3 or 4 weeks later, I met “R” and we began dating – fast! We spent every non-working waking hour together and we actually became engaged after only 2 weeks. Young love, right!? LOL
“R” and I were together, through thick & thin (money, weight, love) for 2 ½ years and then I had finally had enough. I came to realize that “R”, being 7 years older than me, had no drive, ambition or goals for life. He was content to just call in sick to work, stay home and get stoned. So I told him to move out and POOF! I was single.
This takes me to the age of 20.
Then after having been single for almost 3 years, I decided to make “a list” of what I wanted in a man/partner/husband. In no specific order:
- Family is important
- Animal lover
- Sense of humour
- Likes to read
- Healthy lifestyle
- Social drinker
- Steady secure employment
- Music lover
- Food lover
- Enjoys cooking
- Friends are important
- Hard worker
- Wants a family
- Strong minded
- Stable lifestyle
- Good fashion sense
- Financially stable
- Hockey lover
- Football lover
Now, don’t get me wrong – I know this list is detailed and the chances of me finding one guy that fits everything is limited, very! However, I truly believe that when I meet “the one”, I will compromise on some of the less important items.
Skip ahead to summer 2006. I met “P” on an online dating site and we got along really quite great! We spent evenings, not over nights, together for 7 days straight. He was then driving to Saskatchewan (from BC) to visit his family.
While he was gone, we talked on the phone every night for at least an hour (who does that anymore!?) We decided that I would fly up on the last weekend he was going to be there and I’d drive back with him on the Monday. This meant I would meet his family … after dating a mere 2 or 3 weeks!
“P” and I had a great relationship, at first – like most. We moved in together after about 3 months and then after another 4 or 5 months we quit our jobs and moved to Saskatchewan. We got jobs, bought a house (so SO cheap!), a car and a truck so that we could commute to the city for work.
After 6 months things were sliding downhill FAST and our relationship ended – bitterly. I moved back to BC to be near my family and he stayed in Saskatchewan.
That was September 2007. And if you do the math, we’re nearing the end of December 2013. So 6 ½ years now. I have been single the entire time with only a handful of 1st dates in the whole time.
The selection of available men in the town where I live is not large. I’ve gone back to online dating and it has not worked out for me.
I decided to delete my online profile and instead of worrying about when I’ll meet someone worthy enough to spend my time with, I am going to get healthy – inside and out!
Being single for 6 ½ years (and also being almost 32 and having no babies) causes some of my family members to be … uh, let’s say “concerned” for me. I’m tired of hearing “you need to have babies soon” because I’M ONLY (not even) 32 YEARS OLD!!! Maybe in another 10 years, if I don’t have any babies, THEN you can say something (and yes, I do want babies without a doubt) … but give me a break – I am NOT getting too old!
My standards are NOT too high – they are right where I set them! I am not about to settle for some Joe Schmoe who I could end up despising instead of loving. No freaking way!
I am (almost) 32 years old, single and I have no children. I have a list of what I would prefer in a guy, but that doesn’t mean it’s set in stone. If that scares you, clearly you’re not the one for me. And if you’re family, then sit back and enjoy the time you have with ME because when I meet the man I am going to marry, you can be almost guaranteed that I’ll be spending time with HIM more so than with you.